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  • Writer's pictureDouglas James Troxell

Dear George R.R. Martin

Dear George R.R. Martin:

I’ve done it, George. In less than six months, I have consumed all the Game of Thrones (Got) main storyline content there is to consume. In a little more than two months, my wife and I powered through seven seasons of GoT and managed to catch up in time to watch the mediocre series finale with everyone else (It was a’ight).

After I finished watching the show, I HAD to read the books (even though several GoT fans warned me not to). So I ditched my summer reading list and dedicated my summer to reading all five 800+ page GoT novels back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to back. I know all the damn sigils of each major and minor house in Westeros, I know the family trees of all the major families, and I know what every single character ate to “break their fast” (half the books are descriptions of food). The book series starts off amazing and then peters out into mediocrity until it just...ends. So, even though I’m a n00bish fan, I feel I’m ready to ask the ultimate question, George…


A Dance with Dragons came out in 2011. That was eight years ago! Eight years! Where’s the book?! What’s to even think about? Just watch the show and write down what happens. Boom! Book complete. Honestly, how much longer do you expect your readers to wait for the next installment of a book series they already know the end of?

Here are some things that STILL haven’t happened in the GoT book series:

Daenerys STILL hasn’t left Maureen yet.

Tyrion STILL hasn’t met Daenerys.

The Starks STILL haven’t returned to Winterfell.

Brienne STILL hasn’t done ANYTHING worthwhile since Book #2

The Hound is STILL technically dead in the books

Stannis STILL hasn’t died in the books

Oh, and Jon Snow is still dead. Remember when that happened in the TV series? At the end of Season #5 in 2015? Yeah. Still not a thing in the books. Keep in mind you still have TWO books left and you are currently 71 years old. It’s been 8 years since the last book. That means you will be dead before we see the end of this series, especially since you haven’t even started writing A Dream of Spring yet, and I doubt Melisandre is going to bring you back to finish up your book series. We ain’t seeing it. The shitty Season 8 ending is the only ending we’re ever going to get. Why don’t you just write the damn book, George?! Why?!

You need to stop working on all the bullshit side projects, stop working on the bullshit HBO prequel series that no one really wants, stop going to conventions, and finish the work you started. You wanna be the American Tolkien? Well Tolkien finished his epic! It’s called There and Back Again, not just There. Finish the job!

I get it. You’re bored with the whole thing. The bloated cast of characters, the ludicrous number of interweaving plot threads, the totally superfluous side quests that go absolutely nowhere, the constantly shifting point-of-view to characters we don’t give a shit about. I get it. Trust me when I say many of us are bored by the whole thing as well. We just want to see it through to the end. After eight seasons and thousands of pages, it’s time to bring it home, George.

Get the job done.


Douglas Lannister Stark Targaryen Baratheon Troxell


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